When I heard my diagnosis of BPD, I thought it was pretty grim. I had responded quite well to DBT though and my doctor said she had put me on a waiting list for the DBT program the health system offers. That was three months ago, the wait for the program was supposed to be 12 to 18 months. Day to day life hasn’t been easy, but I knew the help I so desperately wanted was in my future. Today I found out I am not on the wait list and they have in fact closed that list so I never will ne on it. The help promised to me that has kept me going, is not available. They have given me a diagnosis and shown me it is possible to overcome it but they will not provide the treatment to help me. I am tired and can’t keep fighting on my own. What I have been holding on for isn’t there any longer.