My Note From March 18

I had always thought that once you grew up you could do anything you wanted-stay up all night or eat ice cream straight out of the container.

-Bill Bryson, The Lost Continent

I just woke up this morning and I am waiting for breakfast, which will be here at eight.  After breakfast I will pack up most of my belongings and go home for an overnight stay.  It will be my first night at home in a month and a half.  Today is Saturday and Monday will be my discharge day.
My sense of humour is back along with my energy.  It is easier for me to see now the ways the illness filtered my reality.  The cognitive skills I have learned here are a very good start to having a more balanced view of my future.  It does not look quite as dark and hopeless as when I came here.
In addition to Cognitive Behavior Therapy I have also been learning about Dialectic Behavior Therapy.  In very simple terms, it helps with emotion regulation.  I will continue to work with both of these after discharge.  I have a workbook to help me learn on my own and there are groups I can join in the community.
I am not going to worry so much about all that tonight, though.  Tonight I plan to do things I have not been able to do in hospital.  I can watch a movie I choose.  I can also watch it without all of the talking and background noise.  I can have pizza and ice cream, too.  Tonight will be my own private party for myself.  I deserve it after surviving what these diseases have thrown at me the last few months.


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