My Note From March 14

For in every adult there dwells the child that was,

and in every child there lies the adult that will be.

-John Connolly, The Book of Lost Things


Discharge is getting closer and closer.  I am doing everything I can think of to get ready for it.  A mental health team has been approved for me so I will meet with my case manager shortly after discharge.  
Last Friday my doctor gave me a mew diagnosis.  I am not ready to say what it is but it does sound pretty accurate.  It also sounds like a pretty harsh life sentence right now.  It has made me more anxious about discharge so I am trying to supress these thoughts.  That is not the healthiest way to cope but it is the most effective for me right now.
Last Sunday I went home ahain.  I was able to clean a little to get ready for next weekend.  Next Saturday I will go home to spend the night.  While I was home Sunday I visited a wonderful couple I know.  They were the perfect choice for my first socializing in months.  They are very positive and genuinely nice people.  Their two year old daughter is so cute and called me aunt Sally.  I guess that sounds similar to Jodi.  How can you not smile at that?  Maybe if nice people such as them like me, I am not as unlikeable and horrible as I think I am.
For my last few weekdays here the focus with my doctor is entirely on tools and questions to help me after discharge.  I bought a workbook so I can work on some of these at home as well.  I do not think I will be going to anymore of the groups here either.  I am starting to disconnect from the routine that has been my life for the last month and a half.

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