My Note From March 10

But still I dream that somewhere there must be

The spirit of a child that waits for me.

-Bayard Taylor, The Poetical Works of Bayard Taylor

My discharge is ten days away.  I have been home for two quick visits now.  The second was better than the first and I am feeling like I may be ready to go back into the real world.
Today will be the last day I spend completely on the ward without going on a pass.  There is a social group on Friday afternoons that I have really enjoyed the last few weeks.  I wanted to stay here for that one last time and my doctor agreed.  After today I have laid out a pretty busy schedule for my passes until discharge.  Those passes have been increased to eight hours.
I am going to miss some of the other patients when I leave.  In the last couple of weeks I have connected with a few patients and we talk every day.  One, who was discharged this week, has my phone number and lives not far from me.  We are planning to get together once I am out.
I get my morning medications and vital signs checked every morning after breakfast.  The nurse always chats with each patient to see how they are doing.  This morning I was joking with the nurse.  This is the first time I have noticed my sense of humour coming out without effort since at least mid-December.  It was not even a nurse I have worked with much and know.  It felt really nice to have that back.  It is feeling like the depression has less of a hold on me and the true me is starting to show again.


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