But still I dream that somewhere there must be
The spirit of a child that waits for me.
-Bayard Taylor, The Poetical Works of Bayard Taylor
My discharge is ten days away. I have been home for two quick visits now. The second was better than the first and I am feeling like I may be ready to go back into the real world.
Today will be the last day I spend completely on the ward without going on a pass. There is a social group on Friday afternoons that I have really enjoyed the last few weeks. I wanted to stay here for that one last time and my doctor agreed. After today I have laid out a pretty busy schedule for my passes until discharge. Those passes have been increased to eight hours.
I am going to miss some of the other patients when I leave. In the last couple of weeks I have connected with a few patients and we talk every day. One, who was discharged this week, has my phone number and lives not far from me. We are planning to get together once I am out.
I get my morning medications and vital signs checked every morning after breakfast. The nurse always chats with each patient to see how they are doing. This morning I was joking with the nurse. This is the first time I have noticed my sense of humour coming out without effort since at least mid-December. It was not even a nurse I have worked with much and know. It felt really nice to have that back. It is feeling like the depression has less of a hold on me and the true me is starting to show again.