Shakespeare was right, a rose is a rose, no matter what we call it. It would be easy to go off on a tangent here. My actions won’t change the rose if I call it a tulip. The rose will carry on as a rose, what a nice thought. That’s a trip I won’t take though.
In Shakespeare’s writing, it turns out names meant much more to the humans than the plants. Wasn’t the whole tragedy because of their family names? In the real world names matter to people, too.
My legal name change is mailed off, now it’s just waiting. As part of the process, I had to go to the Vancouver Police Department to get fingerprinted. I give them full credit, even having to use my current legal name and ID, the person that helped me addressed me by my new name without me having to ask. That is so respectful. I am not a flower, I notice if someone uses the wrong name or pronoun and it does effect me.
I know people might make an honest mistake, it’s OK when respect is shown. It is not OK to use an improper pronoun or name because of your own issues. It might take a little effort, but trust me, that effort is less than the hurt you can cause someone, not to mention the disrespect you show and the ignorance it shows to refuse to use proper names and pronouns. Thank you!
Now for a totally positive thing about my new name – My new midle name is a tribute to my grandmother. Born in the American South in 1908 and growing up in a depressed rural area, she somehow turned out to be this amazingly strong person who not only believed in and practiced equality for women, but also racial equality. She did this in a time when neither were looked at favorably in that area. She had such a combination of strength, compassion and love, that is the type of woman I want to be.