Jodi’s Weekend

Today everything cooperated with me.  Well, almost everything, my hair has not been extremely cooperative.  Today is the day I have been planning for the last few months and waiting for the last few years.  The weather is perfect, sunny and not cold and not hot.  A little breezy, thus the uncooperative hair.  A rain jacket is on my list, but not in my closet yet, so thank goodness it didn’t rain today!  My schedule and plans for the weekend were not changed at the last minute again, either. 
So this morning I got up and got dressed in a cute, light skirt, ruffled top and light sweater and ventured into the world for the first time as myself.  Honestly, it was a bit anti climatic.  None of the horrors I had imagined it heard about happened.  It was just an extremely pleasant shopping trip.  The trip has included public transit, which was important to me.  I do rely on transit daily and feeling safe doing my daily things was a top priority.
So what did happen on this monumental day for me?  Once I remembered to breathe, it was great.  I have almost no makeup on, which I am not totally comfortable with, but it was a better alternative to my attempts this morning to do my face.  Once I realized it wasn’t a big deal to others, I was able to think about how I feel.  My voice does not please me right now and there are some tweaks I am learning with my clothes, which I expected, but the overall feeling is relief and joy.  I realize now that I have been worried about how others would see me and react, but I have not worried that I wouldn’t be happy presenting myself to the world this way.  Turns out I am completely comfortable (even without makeup and with hair sticking out at odd angles) with who I am.  I have to say that I am probably more comfortable right now than I have been in many years.
Turns out, I have been self conscious every time I go out, for a long long time.  Before, it had more to do with how I felt about myself, though, instead if how I thought other people may react.  Guess what I learned today?  Being happy with myself is much nicer.  Sure, I may still encounter adverse reactions now and again from others, but I don’t have to stay around them.  Being happy with me will help make up for that, as well.  I really like how I feel right now, though! 
Have a great day, everyone!!!

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