The Closet is Open

I haven’t done a good job posting here lately.  I am going to try to do better now, no promises.

Just in the last couple of weeks I have made some big decisions in my life.  My curiosity about gender is still there and I still do not have a good understanding of why it is so important.  I will continue to look for answers to those questions. 

My big decision came because I finally realized why I couldn’t be my true self.  It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be, that desire has been there for years.  I was being held back by beliefs that I claimed as my own but never agreed with.  These were beleifs given to me in my childhood that do not serve me now.  I have finally gotten to a point where I can separate those from my true beliefs.  I can recognize where those came from and that I don’t necessarily have to agree or live by them anymore.

I have decided what I have known for years and years, I would be happier living as a female.  This decision has of course brought up a lot of questions for me, but it has quieted the turmoil in my mind.  I am so happy and excited not for a new life, but for the life I was meant to be living all along.  It is not a new life, because it is who I have been underneath the mask I show the world.

I have started taking steps towards this life, but it is very, very early.  I am going to try to keep this blog as a journal of my transition, or maybe a better word would be revealing the real me.

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